Fiery Passion, Smoldering Flame

Recently I spoke at our Men’s Breakfast for FUMC here in Garland. The topic of discussion was Faith, and how do we keep motivated to be better Christians.

I chose this title, Fiery Passion – Smoldering Flames to illustrate how I view passion. I can remember vividly as a child being fascinated with burning things. I know that does not sound good, and believe me when I say my parents did everything they could to stop it. But I was fascinated with the actual flames of the fire. I found that depending on what you burned the color of the flames could change. I would sit and watch candles for hours. I found the dancing flame very soothing. The slightest air movement would cause the flame to flicker and dance casting strange and fascinating shadows on the wall. I remember in winter months my dad building fires in the fire place to warm our shivering bodies. My fascination with fire never “burnt out”. In fact, when I got old enough my parents would let me build the fire in the fire place. Of course to a kid who was a borderline pyromaniac that wasn’t exactly a great idea. I remember one particular evening I asked to build the fire and my dad granted me permission. I went out to the garage where I had spent a great majority of the day splitting old 1 inch pine boards into 12 inch long slivers. I would use this as my tender for the fire. I kris-crossed about 40-50 of those slivers, building the stack clear to the flu. I then stuffed about 2 newspapers worth of wadded up paper in between all the stacks and before anyone could stop me I placed flame to paper. Within seconds it was a roaring inferno that no doubt was shooting flames through the chimney lighting the dark night sky with red dancing lights.

Fire can be dangerous. There is no arguing this point. Remember reading the bit about building a raging inferno in the fireplace just a moment ago? If it had not been for my dad’s quick thinking and the fact that old dried pine burns out very quickly we would have had a MAJOR problem. It was hot though. That is the reason I remember it so well. I was standing close enough that my face looked like I had been in the sun all day. I remember my face feeling stretched and wrinkly.

I also remember once when my mom and dad were wrapping Christmas presents one night in the kitchen. They had a mountain of wrapping paper in front of them and were diligently putting ribbons and bows on gifts that they had spent so much time wrapping. My dad is passionate about the way he wraps gifts. The seams and folds must be accurate and measured, the gift centered in the paper, the tape hidden from view, the bows hand made and the ribbon wrapped in the most impossible way. My mom was tired, I am sure, and had spent so much time on her gifts as well.  She picked up a piece of wrapping paper and simply tossed it over her shoulder. It drifted towards an ever growing stack of excess paper that wasn’t going to be used. On it’s way down it simply “kissed” the flame of a nearby candle. Now for those of you who have never seen wrapping paper burn… it burns FAST and HOT!!!! The ink on the paper is a wonderful fuel source and it produces the most brilliant colors when it burns. Problem is that if you don’t expect it to be on fire in your dining room it can be very scary. Soon the lit wrapping paper started burning the rest of the stack. I was in bed at the time and was jolted out of my sleep by the blaring sounds of smoke detectors and the acrid smell of smoke. I knew that this smoke was not a product of burnt food. I recognized this smell as a real fire. Remember, I had burned a lot of things by this time in my life so I knew what one smelled like. I ran through the house into the dining room and my parents had already extinguished the flames and had started airing out the room. The were laughing about it, but I could tell it scared them both. I bet the flames sure were pretty though…

One more quick story about fire.  I used to work for a distribution warehouse.  We housed everything from pocket knives with logos on them to coffee creamer.  One item in particular was a huge interest to me.  It was matchbooks.  Good old fashioned matchbooks.  The company who ordered them decided they did not want to use them.  The were to be set out in the trash or destroyed.  I seized this opportunity to gather as many as I could for “destruction”.  After all, I wanted to comply with our company rules.  I took 5 cases.  Each case had 12 boxes. Each box contained 50 match books.  Each match book contained 20 matches.  This added up to 60,000 individual matches.  I brainstormed for about a week on the best way to go about “destroying” these matches.  I came up with the following solution:  I would cut each match head off the match, collect them in a bucket, and then burn them all at once.  SO, I spent the next 2 months cutting these match heads off with a pair of scissors.  I collected them all in an oversized metal Folgers coffee can.  It was filled to the brim.  I waited for dusk so that I could really see what would happen.  I set the can in the middle of the street that I lived on at the time.  I lit one match that I had saved and dropped it on top of the pile.  At first it seemed nothing would happen.  Then it started to light the other match heads.  Then more started going off.  Soon the chain reaction happened so fast the the entire can lit up at once.  It sounded like a small rocket engine.  The can was bounding and shaking, sliding this way and that across the street.  The flame literally took on the shape of a bright blue and white cone.  The it stopped.  Just like it started, it fizzled out.  The glowing orange metal can simply melted in the middle of the street.  That poor can could not stand up to the intense heat of the flames.

To me it seems that fire is a living, breathing thing.  It eats, or should I say it consumes.  Whatever fuel the fire uses it will eventually turn it to ash thereby consuming all the parts it needs to live.  But fire needs oxygen to breathe.  I has to breathe in order to live.  If you start a fire in a containment room, then suck all the oxygen out of the room, the fire will simply die out.  If you watch a candle it consumes the wick and the fuel in the wax very slowly.  But, if you toss some wrapping paper on it then it consumes the paper very quickly.  An inferno, like a forest fire, consumes quickly and totally.  Everything in it’s path becomes fuel.  My fascination with fire led to another discovery of sorts.  I realized that passion can be totally consuming, just like fire.

I have known my wife for over 12 years now.  I have had just as long to get to know her dad.  Here is a man who loves sports.  To say that he is obsessed with sports is simply an understatement.  He is consumed by sports.  He was the athletic director for the city in which he lives, he has worked with parks and recreation, he refereed or served as an umpire for almost every sport imaginable.  His knowledge about the inner workings of each type of sport is mind boggling at times.  He watches games on t.v., he watches them live, and until recently he participated in as many as he could.  Now, for the most part, he only plays golf.  He still watches sports on t.v.  But he loves to play golf.  It has become obvious to me that it is a passion of his.

I have a friend who goes to church with me who is a graphic artist by trade.  But he is really just an artist.  That statement sounds so simple doesn’t it?  Simply an artist.  But you see, something that I have come to learn is that most artists are truly consumed by their work.  They have this inner fire, this raging inferno waiting to get out.  It becomes very obvious when they talk about their work that they are truly passionate about it.  There is nothing simple about being an artist.  My friend is consumed with passion for his work.  It is what drives him.  When it comes to art, he really is very talented.  Whether it be decorating a room, decorating a cake, painting a canvas, restoring old furniture, or creating artwork for a business he is passionate about what he does.  You can tell it on his face and in his works.

But I have another friend who really tied a pretty bow around this word “passion”.  He plays classical guitar.  I have known him for several years but have never really heard him play.  I have known for years that he was consumed with music.  He has over 10,000 songs on iTunes and listens to all of them in the course of a year.  He sings in choirs, he plays an instrument.  Heck he even took classes on music THEORY!! AND ENJOYED THEM!!  Anyone who does that must be consumed, or obsessed.  Right?  That is what I thought until I actually asked him to play  piece for me.  He said, “Sure” and proceeded to pick up his guitar and take a seat.  What happened next though is what really intrigued me.  When he brought the guitar up to his shoulder and dropped his head to begin playing it was like a metamorphoses had taken place.  He was completely lost in the music.  He was being consumed by the sounds coming from that guitar.  His passion for this music was evident on his face, in his body, his fingers, and quite obviously in the music itself.  When he finished he lingered for just a few moments in that position before raising his head and grinning at me.  I simply can describe in words what happened that night.  It was awe inspiring.

I have to say that I was really inspired by all three of these people in my life.  Inspired to take a look at myself and what my passion may be.  I found that I am passionate about growing my faith and finding ways for others to look at their faith differently.  I believe the one thing that all people who believe in God go through at some point in their journey of faith is doubt.  Maybe not so much doubt as a lack of motivation or inspiration.  I realized that after my epiphany and my rediscovery of my faith in God that I had become one of these people.  Those of you who know me can probably remember this expression, “My husband is on fire for God, please pass the salt.”  I was so consumed with passion for God and my relationship with him that I felt compelled to share it with everyone.  I wasn’t in people’s faces preaching at them.  However, I would take every opportunity that presented itself to talk about it.  But after seeing passion in these three people that seemed to be all consuming it made me feel like I have lost my motivation.  I have lost my fuel for my fire.

My father-in-law was able to turn his passion for sports into a golf tournament that benefits the youth of our church.  Specifically it helps them go on mission trips.  These kids have an opportunity to do things for others and help transform lives.  All of that from a passion for sports.  My friend who is a graphic artist has taken his passion and started the unbelievable task of bringing color and art into our sanctuary with liturgical banners.  He has been able to compliment our sanctuary with artwork that is modern yet accents the historical aspects of our building.  Again, all of this from someone who is passionate about art.  So I had to ask myself, why has my passion seemed to fizzle?  Why has my fiery passion turned into a smoldering flame?  I started looking through scripture and I was drawn to the book of Hebrews, Chapter 11.  I like this chapter because it sums up a great majority of the characters in the bible.  It talks specifically about the success of these characters through their faith.  Faith in something unseen.  Faith in something promised.  Faith in something that can not be physically proven.  Or can it be?

Take a moment to think about Fire and how it described in the bible.  God reveals himself to Moses in the form of a fiery bush (or tree depending on what translation you are reading).  Why?  Remember my story earlier about the inferno in the fire place?  I think the answer can be found there.  If God had revealed himself to Moses as a mortal, Moses himself may not have believed it, let alone anyone else.  If God had spoken to Moses without revealing himself, then I think the same problem exists.  But revealing himself as a bush on fire would certainly get his attention.  Not only that, but it was a bush that appeared to be completely consumed by fire yet not a branch nor needle was turning to ash.  Can you imagine that?  Kneeling close enough to a burning bush that you can feel the heat on your face?  Perhaps that is what aged Moses so greatly.  If you have ever seen a real cowboy or rancher you will notice immediately that their face is very weathered.  They have lines etched permanently in their face from squinting in the win and sun.  Now here is Moses who shows physical signs of having been close to fire, an aging process so it would seem.  Now people or more apt to listen and believe.

There are many more examples of fire in scripture.  One of the plagues visited on the Pharos of Egypt was fire falling from the heavens.  The story of Sodom shows God’s wrath with the destruction of the city my a raging inferno.  Some translations of scripture say the star that guided the shepherds and wise men to Bethlehem was actually a great ball of fire in the sky that could be seen for hundreds, if not thousands of miles away.  Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego and fiery furnace is yet another example only this time the fire was tamed by God and they remained untouched.  The commissioning of Isaiah in the book of Isaiah talks about a burning coal being placed to his lips.  The other examples literally would take pages to discuss.  But I want to turn my discussion to things we know about today.  Things like the Sun.  The Sun is a giant ball of fire.  It sustains life on earth.  Without it we would freeze to death.  The Earth itself has a core of fire kept in check only by the crust.  Sometimes it breaks through with devastating results.  Fire could be argued as the single most important discovery of mankind.  Without we would not have light, a way to cook our food, the combustible engine, pottery, glass, metal to build with, lasers and so much more.  So what does all this have to do with Faith, right?

I have come to realize that our Faith is fueled by passion.  So many of us find ourselves going through our lives and realizing at some point that we simply have lost our motivation.  Lost our fire.  The real question I think is this:  How do we fuel our passion to where it is fiery and not simply a smoldering flame?  The answer eludes me my friends.  I know that everyone is good at something.  Everyone has a passion.  Can you be passionate about God?  Can you be consumed by your relationship with God?  I think all of us can.  I believe that we must find a way to take our passion and keep the fires burning.  I know my way.  My way is through testimony.  My way is through talking to others.  I know now that my passion needs to be evident on my face, in my words, and through my actions.  I have been inspired by these three individuals as well as so many others.  I have been inspired to once again add fuel to my fire.  I am no longer content to simply have smoldering flames as my drive.  I crave that raging inferno.  I hope that after reading this, you will too.

By the way Mom and Dad, I am not cutting up any more matchbooks.

 

Are WE the problem?

This past Wednesday a young lady was giving a presentation on Sin at our church. Now before you accuse me of being a “bible thumping bandit for God” let me assure you this topic is very different than that of your typical thoughts on Sin. If you are interested in what she has to say let me know I can put you in contact with her. But that is not what I am writing this blog about. Well, sort of.

While discussing sin we talked about Free Will and why we have it. Here is the question that was presented to us that I have some thoughts on: Is Free Will a good thing or bad thing?

Here is my take: If you take the Bible literally and believe that every story in the bible happened exactly the way it is written then you read that God PUT the tree of knowledge (forbidden fruit, good and evil, etc) there. If you believe that God is all knowing and all powerful, meaning that he knows all past, present, and future happenings AND he has the power to change anything at anytime then you would also prescribe to the notion that God knew that Adam and Eve were going to “sin” and that humans would have the knowledge of good and evil. Basically saying that God knew we were going to screw up. Now, if he knew this and did not stop it from happening then that leads to the conclusion that he WANTED us to “sin” and gain this knowledge. I believe that Free Will has to do more about desire than anything. Maybe God wanted us to desire a relationship with him rather than simply having the predisposition to have to have a relationship with him. But one of the consequences of Free Will is that we now have the choice to do what we want in life regardless of how it affects those around us. If I am hit by a drunk driver on the road and killed through no fault of my own then that drivers’ Free Will caused my death. If a community of people build their city at the base of an active volcano and it erupts killing 100,000 people then their death was caused by their Free Will to build there. When a person knowingly does something that causes harm to themselves or others whether directly or indirectly it is because of Free Will. So, is it a bad thing? Why did we get this “gift from God” if it causes so much heartache and grief?

I personally don’t believe that we have Free Will so that we can go out and screw up our lives or the lives of others. I think we are given Free Will to be BETTER at the good endeavors we set out on. If we have a desire, or a passion to do good then we are motivated to do it to the best of our ability. If we simply have to and are not aware that there is another choice would we do it any better? I am speaking of voluntary things. Blinking, breathing, and other automatic functions would not apply here. I think we are given Free Will so that we as a people can thrive, enrich the lives of others, learn, develop relationships, and basically do something worthwhile and good in life. But, so many times we screw it up.

So here is my final thought. If we have this wonderful gift and we don’t use it right then we are the problem. I don’t blame God for cancer, disease, famine, homelessness, bad government, genocide, or natural disasters. Regardless of why these things are going on (mostly because of choices of man) we as humans have the choice to help those stricken by these things. We are at our best when the worst is happening to us and those around us. We are the problem.

But, we are also THE SOLUTION.

Have a wonderful day.

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Upload from my Blackberry

I wanted to see how hard it would be to post something with my phone. Seems technology has given all the tools we need to “stay in touch”.

I must get on here soon to blog about something of interest.

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Easter Spirit

Everyone who knows me knows that I can be a humbug at Christmas. This is mostly contributed to the fact that department stores start advertising openly their cheaply made plastic goods highlighting Santa and his reindeer about October 15th. It seems no one can wait until after Thanksgiving to jump on that spending bandwagon for Christmas. Very little attention is paid to the birth of Jesus Christ in these plastic and colorful foil goodies. Very frustrating.

This Easter I was on call. That in itself was enough to sour my mood. I don’t get to spend the day with my family, watching my children hunt eggs, talk to Bronwyn about Jesus, eat copious amounts of unhealthy food. Just plain sucks!! So Friday night was busy, Saturday proved to be hectic at best. Not to mention not being able to attend and sing in the Good Friday service at church. So of course my hopes were just oh so high for Sunday. I just knew that I would go to church and get called out.

I did get called. However, it was something that was easily fixed and they were ok with waiting until after church. Now here is where I tell you that Saturday was filled with air conditioner calls. I worked on 13 Saturday. That reminds me, I need to let them know they don’t have any refrigerant left at the Verandas. Anyway, while on these calls there were 3 people who gave me tips. Cash money!!! That has never been offered before. That certainly raised my spirits as I was able to simply use that money for gas and food instead of my card. So back to Sunday. I get done with that call and headed to my mom’s house to try and catch the end of lunch and see the Easter Egg hunt. I eat, set eggs out and RING RING!!! I get called out. I did get to watch the hunt though. Then I left. I did not see the family again until later in the day. To eat again. That seems odd. So we eat and RING RING RING!!! Jeez. I leave again. Got home in time to put Bronwyn to bed. Missed Coop though.

I reflected last night on my weekend and realized a few things. 1) The music and service on Sunday were great! Very uplifting and well done. 2) I DID get to spend time with my family. It might not have been what I wanted, but I did get to see them and enjoy a few highlights. 3) The people who tipped me did so in a spirit of giving. Very thoughtful and well received. 4) Was able to make some extra money for my family.

I seriously need to put things into perspective some times. I know I have a job. Thankful for that. I don’t like the hours at times, but I do get paid for it. I am healthy, mostly. There are a lot of members of our families who can not say the same. I have 2 beautiful children who constantly amaze me and remind me of God’s love for me through them. My wife is faithful and loves me unconditionally. I have a nice home, a car that is reliable, and have things that a lot of people consider luxuries. I am blessed. My family is blessed.

I look all the time for clues and for arrows pointing to God’s blessings. Thank you to those who gave me money when they did not have to. Thank you for the time I WAS able to spend with my family. Thank you for my health and my job. Thank you for the ability to provide for my family and others.

God bless each of you on this Monday morning. I love each of you.

P.S. The turn out for church on Easter was awesome. Now if we can just figure out how to make that happen every Sunday.

Josh

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Parenting

There is nothing harder than knowing that your child is sick and you do not have the control or power to do anything about it. Cooper came down with a pretty serious case of Croup. I am not sure if that is how you spell it or not, but that is how it sounds. For those of you who have dealt with nasty little thing it is no fun. His blood oxygen level was low and he was having a very hard time breathing. We wound up having to take him to the E.R. per our doctor’s order. He was admitted and kept over night. So now we are home and he is doing much better. I was very scared I have to admit. I am not used to not having any control over situations and this one really got to me. I know this is just the beginning of a whole slew of things that I can not control when it comes to the kids. Doesn’t make it any easier. Anyway, I am glad that this bout is almost over. I am tired. He is tired. I will keep everyone updated if anything else should happen. Look for my next Random Thoughts post soon.

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